


All You Broken Children

by 7catsinatrenchcoat



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: ALSO WORK TITLE IS GOING TO BE CHANGED BC I HATE IT, First chapter is text messages but other chapters are narrative, Other, Relationships and character tags will develop as fic develops, Self indulgent interactions between characters i enjoy the relationships and dynamics between, anyways enjoy, i am just Bad with titles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2018-12-25 16:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12039744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7catsinatrenchcoat/pseuds/7catsinatrenchcoat
Summary: Jeremy's trying his best to communicate properly with his friends but he's not doing a great job of it.[ Previously titled 'Communication is Difficult' ]--Latest Update: Chapter 3 [ Off ]  (01 February 2018)> Also deleted scenes + some Explaining!! Abandoned (Sorta) (Read latest chapter) !!





	1. 1 - [ Unknown Number ]

**Author's Note:**

> I've been listening to Be More Chill on repeat for the last five days, i've read the script and i just ordered the book online there is no escaping this so i may as well make something i enjoy writing and hopefully other people will enjoy it too!
> 
> I might change the texting/messaging format because I'm not a H U G E fan of how it looks right now.  
> Other chapters will be actual paragraph text, narrative, all that good stuff. Sorry about my art but i felt like putting it in so i guess you'll have to deal with that  
> There are more notes at the end, but I hope you enjoy <3

  
  
_[7:13pm]_  
**[Unknown number]:** hey rich  
  
_[7:13pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** Whos this???  
  
_[7:13pm]_  
**[Unknown number]:** it’s jeremy.  
**[Unknown number]:** heere?  
  
_[7:14pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** Oh! You dont have to say the last name bro lol.  
**[A (me)]:** I just dont have you in my phone  
**[A (me)]:** Hang on a sec  
  
  
**[Unknown number] --- > [Jeremy]** **  
****  
  
** _[7:15pm]_ **  
** **[A (me)]:** Yooo! Added you.  
  
_[7:15pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** how’re the burns?  
  
_[7:15pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** I’m dealing. Last week I couldnt even text so like i guess its better  
**[A (me)]:** Hows the christine sitch goin??  
**[A (me)]:** Did you follow through with my killer tip bro  
**[A (me)]:** You better have heere  it was great advice  
  
_[7:15pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** christine is not the kind of person who would like to hear that kind of thing  
**[Jeremy]:** it’d be weird dude  
**[Jeremy]:** she’s just like,,, really nice and would be creeped out soz  
**[Jeremy]:** also,, **  
** **[Jeremy]:** sitch???????  
**[Jeremy]:** OH situation yeah right got it  
**[Jeremy]:** it’s……………. gone?  
  
_[7:16pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** … Gone?  
  
_[7:16pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** christine is really really nice!! i just  
**[Jeremy]:** think that maybe i should actually date her when im not still getting over Squip Stuff  
  
_[7:19pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** uh  
**[Jeremy]:** and i think she’d like to kind of. not date me after everything that happened.  
**[Jeremy]:** at least for a while.  
  
_[7:21pm_ _]_  
**[Jeremy]:** but like she’s been super nice about it!  
**[Jeremy]:** im kind of relieved actually  
  
_[7:23pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** Yeah i get that  
  
_[7:23pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** yeah  
**[Jeremy]:** but uh! how are things with you?  
**[Jeremy]:** you’re not having any like,,,  
**[Jeremy]: ,,** problems?  
  
_[7:28pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** Its fine.   
  
**[Jeremy]:** do you   
**[Jeremy]:** like do you still   
  
_[7:28pm]_  
**[Jeremy] is typing…** **  
** **[Jeremy] is erasing…** **  
** **[Jeremy] is typing…**  
  
_[7:31pm_ _]_  
**[Jeremy]:** uh, like want to go back to school?  
**[Jeremy]:** i think everyone here misses you is all!! **  
**  
_[7:31pm_ _]_  
**[A (me)]:** Yeah i should be back next week bro  
  
_[7:31pm_ _]_  
**[Jeremy]:** thats good  
**[Jeremy]:** will we uh  
**[Jeremy]:** do you want to like associate with me when you’re not in hospital  
  
_[7:31pm_ _]_  
**[A (me)]:** What you think id jsut fucking drop you jesus christ what kind of asshole do you take me for  
**[A (me)]:** Sorry  
**[A (me)]:** I. Yeah of course i wanna hang out with you bro  
  
_[7:31pm_ _]_  
**[Jeremy]:** i mean i wasn’t like a Great person so i wouldn’t be offended if you didn’t want to see me  
  
_[7:31pm_ _]_  
**[A (me)]:** Whatever dude you’re great  
  
_[7:31pm_ _]_  
**[Jeremy]:** um thanks  
**[Jeremy]:** that’s cool of you to say  
  
_[7:32pm_ _]_  
**[A (me)]:** I wont lie to you man im actually looking forward to hanging with you again  
**[A (me)]:** Yknow in a sitch where we both arent like in thinass gowns  
**[A (me)]:** or maybe thats exactly how i want to see you ;) ;)  
  
_[7:36pm]_  
**[Jeremy] is typing…** **  
** **[Jeremy] is erasing…** **  
** **  
** _[7:36pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** Dude im joking its chill  
  
_[7:37pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** Jeremy?????  
  
_[7:37pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** srory got distracted  
**[Jeremy]:** i wasn’t meaning to not reply!!  
**[Jeremy]:** oh my god im sorry if taht seemed like i was avoiding you i wasnt i really actually  jsut  
**[Jeremy]:** got distracted by something  
  
_[7:37pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** Hey! Its fine dont worry im sorry that was a dumb joke to make  
  
_[7:37pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** it really wasnt about that im sorry  
  
_[7:37pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** Its ok man. All good. Dont even worry  
  
_[7:38pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** yeah  
  
_[7:38pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** If you like  
**[A (me)]:** Want to talk about it thats cool too  
**[A (me)]:** Or i can shut up???  
  
_[7:43pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** your nurse’ll be coming in soon anyway i can go  
  
_[7:43pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** ??? How do you?? Know that?  
  
_[7:43pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** dude i stayed like three nights in that room with you  
  
_[7:43pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** 4 if u count that first night you were out til like 3 afternoon  the next day  
**[A (me)]:** But yeah that makes sense  
**[A (me)]:** Sleep or something  
**[A (me)]:** Talk to ur music buddy!! Michael  
  
_[7:43pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** okay **  
** **[Jeremy]:** sorry yeah thanks i’ll see you in school  
  
_[7:44pm]_  
**[A (me)]:** Seeya dude  
**[A (me)]:** WAIT  
**[A (me)]:** Good bi  
  
_[7:44pm]_  
**[Jeremy]:** wwait what are you o  
**[Jeremy]:** oh  
**[Jeremy]:** that?? actually made me laugh oh ym god? heh  
**[Jeremy]:** seeya bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rich is actually lazy with his texting, and just lets his phone auto-caps the start of his sentences whereas jeremy will go back and remove caps if his phone puts them in automatically for the Aesthetic.  
> Rich's name on his own phone is [A (me)] bc that puts his number at the top even though most phones do that automatically lmao
> 
> again, next chapter has actual paragraphs so please dont be put off <3
> 
> if you someone enjoyed it so far please leave a comment so i can know!! if you liked any particular bits, point em out, and if any parts seemed clunky or awkward to read, let me know so I can work on that in the future (just point this out in a polite way please!).
> 
> Alright thank you
> 
> EDIT:: I went through and changed up the text format ever-so-slightly (one persons texts are 'clumped together' and headed by the time sent instead of it ALL being chunked together whenever there was a wait before someone replied)  
> i still might adjust it again but w/e


	2. 2 - [ Fine ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy doesn't seem to be doing okay. Michael would like that to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might edit this chapter tomorrow + I'll add in a drawing if i manage to make it 
> 
> enjoy!

“Sit up _properly_ , Mister Heere, and actually pay attention to what I’m saying to you.” The reaction was instantaneous as Jeremy sat up in a panicked jolt, shoulders and back stiff. Blue eyes darted to the left, where they met Michael’s own, then to the right, and finally up to the teacher standing over him.  
  
Anyone else might have thought the shaky release of breath was because Jeremy was a jumpy, apologetic kid, but Michael’s brows pulled together with worry. Sure, Jeremy got distracted in class a lot even before the whole, ah, _incident_ , but this was definitely not the common _oh fuck oh shit I’m being called on_ reaction that Michael had come to know from his friend.  
  
“... Sorry sir.” Came a mumble from beside him, Michael glancing away from Jeremy to watch the teacher give a dissatisfied huff at the boy’s response before going back to yammering on about population numbers to the rest of the class. There was a long while before the teacher stopped glancing back to make sure the boy was paying attention.  
  
“Hey, you alright?” The words were barely audible, spoken under Michael’s breath as he leaned towards Jeremy. Honestly, he looked… on edge. Pointing it out usually would actually get him to open up, but things had shifted between them recently. He doubted that saying _hey you look like you’re on the verge of crying, dude_ would get him to actually admit to anything, especially in the middle of class.    
  
“I’m fine,” Michael’s lips twisted downward at the whispered reply, and obviously Jeremy noticed, as the boy spoke again before he could argue. “I just - I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. I’m half asleep.” Okay, Michael definitely did not like that voice. Way too rushed, almost guilty. Besides, when did Jeremy (or Michael himself, for that matter) ever get a good night’s sleep anyway?  
  
“Jeremy.” He arched an eyebrow, eyes flicking to the teacher to confirm the conversation was still incognito before he continued. “If you want to like, go to the bathroom or whatever, I can come in later.” The _if you want to talk_ went unsaid, hanging between them almost awkwardly.  
  
It sucked.  
  
It fucking _sucked_ that he felt hesitant to offer to help out his friend of twelve fucking years.

A part of Michael wished the Squip had been visible to him, had had a physical form so he could punch it in the jaw for all the shit it had put Jeremy through, for all the shit it had put _him_ through-  
  
“‘S almost lunch anyway. It’s fine.” Jeremy pulled him out of his train of thought, but his tone caused Michael to pout ever-so-slightly in worry. “I’ll tell you then, okay? It’s nothing.”  
  
It definitely didn’t seem like _nothing_. Even so, Michael dipped his head and gave an okay, sitting up properly once more. He gazed forward, trying to understand whatever it was the teacher was going on about, eyes blank. It was hard to listen while he was also working through any and all reasons for his best friend to be upset, but he didn’t really care. Jeremy would always be more important than geography.  
  


* * *

  
  
“So what’s up?” Michael tried for casual, but it came out sounding cautious. It was fine. It wasn’t  like it would be hard to guess that he was worried. He was always worried. Jeremy knew that.  
  
… Right?  
  
_Of course he does,_ Michael leaned back in his chair, waiting for him to reply. _You learn stuff over twelve years. He’s dense sometimes but he’s not_ that _unobservant._  
  
“... Didn’t get a lotta sleep.” The heavy sigh could have been prevented, but honestly, Michael _wanted_ him to know that that wasn’t going to cut it. “Fine. Fine! But it’s stupid, and you’re going to _laugh_ so I don’t know why you want to know.”  
  
“Because, Jeremy Heere, you’re my _best friend_ and I get to know what’s going on with you,” He rolled his eyes, but gave a gentle arm nudge to say _I’m not really that hurt._ Maybe a little bit, but that was fine. He could move past it. “I’m your backup, your support team. If you don’t let me help you’re shooting yourself in the foot .”  
  
There was a _thump_ , the lunch trays jostling as Jeremy hit his head into his arms with a long, completely unnecessary groan. There was some muffled protest of _it’s fiiiiiiine_ before Michael gave _another_ eyeroll, yanking one of the arms.  
  
“Come on, man, don’t block me out,” Both of them winced at the wording, a far-too tense silence sitting between them before Michael tried again. “I’m not going to make fun of you. I promise.”  
  
_Come on._ He stared down at his friend for a moment, giving another gentle nudge. There was a pause before Jeremy gave a quiet sigh, pushing his head up onto his hands. Okay, sure, he was avoiding eye contact, but it was better than refusing to talk completely.  
  
“It… the Squip used to shock me if I slouched. And like, it just... freaks me out when people shout at me about it. Or if they do anything like, Squip-ish.” One hand pulled away from his chin to give a small half-half gesture. Michael’s mouth hung open slightly, and Jeremy flicked his gaze toward him for a moment before looking away again. “Told you it was dumb, dude.”  
  
“What- No! It’s not _dumb_ , it’s terrifying! That thing could _shock_ you?” A silent nod. “I knew it was hella strong at the play but I thought that was because it had gotten stronger _over time_. It was shocking you for _months_ , what the fuck!?” The trays rattled again as Michael banged his fist against the table. “God, it couldn’t be dead enough.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“Jeremy?” Michael started faintly as he realized Jeremy was shaking. Oh. Oh shit. “C’mon dude, let’s go. Up, yeah, there we go…” Michael pulled his friend up and out of his chair, wrapping his arm under his friend’s.  
  


* * *

  
  
The pair quickly made it to a bathroom, Michael glaring daggers at anyone who looked at them funny. Thankfully it was empty, as the instant the door swished shut behind them, small sobs broke out from Jeremy’s throat. Carefully, Michael crouched down and sat against the wall with him, one arm still tightly wrapped tight around his shoulders.  
  
“I- I never should have g-gotten it,” Jeremy managed to sputter out between hitched breaths and poorly-contained sobs. Each shake of the other boy’s body twisted a knife in Michael’s stomach, each sob hitting him like a blow to the head. “I r-ruined _ev-everything._ Chr-Christine _hates_ me and everyone is only p-pretending to be fine with having me around and I was _t-terrible_ to you.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Jere. Shh, hey, dude, I’m serious. I wouldn’t lie to you, you know I wouldn’t,” Michael began to move his hand in small circles, keeping his own breathing calm and steady. Mostly for Jeremy’s benefit, but also in part to keep himself from joining in on the tears. That _really_ wouldn’t help the situation. “I shouldn’t have let you get it. I was suspicious and I didn’t do anything to stop you. And even beyond that, it’s that _thing’s_ fault for making you do everything in the first place! It’s whoever made the fucked-up computers fault! The guy selling them to fucking _teenagers,_ like what the hell that was _so_ shady I should have pulled you the fuck out of there but I didn’t.”  
  
There was another silence, interrupted by only sniffs and choked-back sobs.  
  
“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have gone through all that crap, man. You really didn’t deserve it.”  
  
“But I _let_ it happen!” The words faintly echoed through the tiled room, Michael pulling his friend even closer. His hand bunched on Jeremy’s shirt fabric slightly,  other arm reaching over so he could spin his friend around to properly face him.  
  
“You were… you were _tricked_ , Jeremy. _Manipulated._ It’s not your fault, okay?” His face grew soft, and Michael released his friend’s shirt, forearms resting loosely on Jeremy’s knees. There was a quiet, shaky sigh from his friend before he went on. “I care about you a lot, okay? I don’t think it’s your fault.” _Mostly._ Fuck, no. God. _It wasn’t his fault._  
  
“Okay,” The word came out weak, causing Jeremy to grimace. He cleared his throat and tried again, it coming out much clearer the next time around. “Thanks. For dealing with this.” He waved a hand up and down himself and gave a weak laugh. “I’m a wreck.” Michael gave a soft laugh of his own, pushing himself off the floor.  
  
“Yeah? Welcome to the fucking club, buddy.” He extended a hand down for Jeremy to grab onto, pulling his friend back onto his feet with one easy tug. A grin both out over both of their faces. “Anyway--”

The door swung open, the newcomer to the bathroom glancing between the pair awkwardly as they both turned to stare at him.  
  
Silence.  
  
Silence.  
  
Awkward eye contact.  
  
A little more silence.  
  
“And we’re out!” Michael let go of Jeremy’s hand to clap his own together, spinning on his heel and giving a broad sweep of his arm for Jeremy to follow him out. “Dude, you don’t have to just stand there. Go pee and stop gawking like you’ve never seen two guys have a conversation before.” He quipped as he brushed shoulders with the guy, hastening his step slightly so that the exiting pair would be out before the onlooker had a chance to reply.  
  
They walked quietly, heading for the computer lab on instinct before Jeremy spoke. “Hey, can you come over after school?”  
  
“Uuuh, I thought you were _grounded_ ?”  
  
“Yeah but it’s my dad. Grounded means I can’t go to parties, use the car, stay overnight at people’s houses _or_ have them sleep over for like, two days straight.” Jeremy gave a quiet snort, as if to say, _he’s such a dork_ , but there was a grin on his face. “And he’d probably step back on those last rule, _especially_ if it’s you.”  
  
“Shit, you’re right. He’s practically adopted me at this point. I’m an idiot.” Jeremy laughed at his reply, causing Michael to shoot him a grin. “Yeah man, I’ll come over. Wouldn’t skip out on beating you at Mortal Kombat for the world.”  
  
“Fuck you, I’m good at Mortal Kombat.”  
  
“ _HAH_ , according to what, your win streak of zero?” Michael gave a bark of laughter, only cut short by a half-hearted yelp when Jeremy punched his arm. “Maybe I’ll let you win ‘cause I love you that much.” He laughed again, this time at Jeremy’s expression. The pair bickered the entire way to the computer lab, and Michael couldn’t help but feel lighter, hopeful. Things were going to work out. Things were good. Jeremy was good. _They_ were good.  
  
The Squip was gone and now Jeremy had a bigger group of friends, which meant _Michael_ had a bigger group of friends. Not that he had minded at all when it was just him and Jeremy, but still! They seemed to make Jeremy happy, so that made _him_ happy. Everything was going to be completely fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is fine :)  
> I have plans for the next chapter and the direction of this fic so look out for that lmao
> 
> thank you for reading and ill honestly love you if you comment thanks <3


	3. 3 - [ Off ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so, I've decided to abandon this because  
> A) I havent written anything for it in months (Whoops)  
> B) I'm not sure how i can fully, cohesively put all of my ideas into a written plot  
> C) I've lost quite a bit of the steam I had at the beginning of this project
> 
> SO!!  
> I'll post all that I have of the last chapter (it was close to the end) in the exact form of it in my google drive, and then I'll share cut scenes! i decided to save them for funsies/later ideas/as a bonus if I kept writing this but UHHHH yeah
> 
> ALSO please do check the last chapter I put in (there should be two after this) because it'll link to the thing I might continue this set of ideas on (an ask blog, probably). Because of that I've decided to not include the plot ideas/etc page i have saved in my drive also [eye emoji]

When he’d very first woken up, Jeremy could feel the lack of...  _ presence _ .    
  
It was like distant, faded static lay in the back of his head rather than the quiet, idle hovering he had grown so used to. A dry, fuzzy taste rested in his mouth as his whole body ached. Sitting up left him dizzy. Sudden movement caused sharp jabs of pain. Listening took far, far too much effort, but he focused as much he could. There was talking, soft and half-whispered while machinery beeped in the background. The voice was Rich. He had been talking to Rich.   
  
A part of him wanted to say more, to ask more, but Rich honestly seemed… good. Like he’d been struck with a clarity that completely contrasted Jeremy’s own hazed confusion. Jeremy really didn’t want to ruin that for him. Didn’t want to ruin anything for anyone. Not again.   
  
Then Michael had entered, lifting both the noise level and the mood. He was chatting hurriedly, excitedly. Jeremy might even say  _ nervously, _ but he hadn’t exactly been in the best state of mind to be able to say for sure.    
  
Funny how only a few months with the Squip left him unable to tell emotions accurately, even those of his best friend.   
  
That day had been a whirlwind of visitors, doctors, and light chatter that felt tense after all that had happened. Heavy conversations had been put on hold, and the hospital held him until they were sure he could stand perfectly fine on his own.    
  
He’d gone back to school on the tuesday. People had stared at him in the hallways, and voices dropped when he walked past. Great. Go to hospital for mysterious circumstances and the rumor mill gets going. Why didn’t people there have better things to do with their lives? Maybe if he’d known six months earlier that going to hospital would get him this much attention he wouldn’t be in this mess.   
  
**“If only a mysterious injury were all that was required, Jeremy.”**   
  
It had been the first time since waking up in hospital that there had even been a  _ hint _ of the Squip, but the voice and the idle mind-haze disappeared before he fully had time to jolt in panic. A sick feeling had risen in his stomach, but he couldn’t feel  _ anything _ as he reached out towards that static in the back of his mind. He even called out to it, that dread in his gut writhing as he did, but there was just…  _ nothing _ .    
  
He’d imagined it.   
  
And so he’d tucked it away, deciding to not think on it. His conscious voice was the loudest and most important, not those… those stupid impulsive thoughts. His Squip was deactivated; he just needed to forget its voice and let go of all the things it had taught him to believe. It was off, and it wasn’t  _ ever  _ coming back on.

  
  
  
Michael had, surprisingly, not been allowed to stay the friday night. He had been allowed, however, to stay so incredibly late that it didn’t really matter. The pair kept things light, only occasionally breaking the careful, cheery masks to ask if the other was okay.    
  
The answer was always,  _ ‘I’m fine.’ _ __  
__  
Jeremy woke up alone the next morning, and paused when he realized that it had been a week since his date with Christine.    
  
It had been strange, talking to Christine alone. Even stranger to go on a date without whispered hints. He waited too long before replying, uncertain of every movement, action and word. His heart was racing even throughout the most mundane moments. He’d practically broke into a cold sweat when she asked whether he had watched a recent documentary and he’d sat in silence before stammering a  _ yes _ , a  _ w-wait, no _ , an  _ I mean -- _ __  
__  
Her lips had pulled into a frown, and she’d reached over and grabbed his hand softly, giving a small squeeze.   
  
“You don’t have to do this is you don’t want to, Jeremy.” At that she gave a small smile, genuine and soft. Fuck, he so did  __ not deserve the date. “We can always hang out another time!”   
  


“I don’t wanna - I mean I  _ do _ , I-” He sighed helplessly, giving Christine a half apologetic, half lost look. “I’m sorry. I do wanna hang out again. I’m just kinda…” He lifted his spare hand, twitching it at his temple.    
  
“That’s fine! Don’t worry about it, okay? We can take this easy,” Another one of those grins. “Who’d want it to be hard, anyway? C’mon.” She stood up, letting go of his hand after one more friendly squeeze. Even when referring to a heartfelt conversation in a joking tone she was  _ nice _ . Jesus. Even if… even if things didn’t work out between them, she was the kind of person who would still want to be his friend.   
  
The idea of it had helped steady his anxious heartbeat.   
  
Hearing the Squip’s voice made it pick up again.   
  
**“Jeremy.”**  His stomach twisted, and he’d given his head a slight shake as Christine unknowingly echoed the (imagined) Squip’s word with confusion.   
  
(Imagined, imagined, he just had to  _ think _ , it was  _ his _ brain,  _ his  _ voice-)   
  
**“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”** There. There! That was his fear, so that was his mind projecting it to a voice he’d grown familiar with over so many months. It was fake.   
  
He could get rid of it. He could. He just had to, to… block it out.   
  
_ You’re not real, I’m  _ stronger _ , you’re not real, you’re  _ gone _ , I’m fine, my voice is the loudest. _   
  
**“Jeremy...”** It was a weaker voice, and then it was gone.   
  
Gone.   
  
_ Good job, you beat your own imagination. _ He sulked at himself, starting as he felt a jab at his side.   
  
“ --can you even hear what I’m saying? Jeremy!” Christine’s voice had broken through, her face filling the air in front of him as she gave him a look of concern. “Hey? You okay?”   
  
Jeremy had paused, considered, had nearly said something, but the right words wouldn’t come, and he just gave a shrug instead. Christine gave a worried hum, and the pair had left the diner in near-silence.    
  
His phone buzzed and rattled on his bedside table, jerking him out of his thoughts. The message flashed on the lockscreen, Jeremy squinting his eyes at the sudden light.   
  
_ [ 11:43am ] _ __  
**[ Mell ]:** im coming over and theres NOTHING you can do to stop me   
**[ Mell ]:** other than asking nicely, i guess lmao   
**[ Mell ]:** anyways get some pants on and also some socks so this N E W G A M E can knock them off [clap x3]   
  
Well then. At least now he had something to do today, right?   
  
Jeremy got up with a groan, grabbing his phone off his table as he did, making a half-effort to get changed with one hand.   
  
_ [ 11:44am ] _   
**[ Me ]:** dadll be asleep so dont come in yelling plz   
  
_ [ 11:44am ] _   
**[ Mell ]:** well shit there goes THAT plan   
**[ Mell ]:** of course im not gonna come in yelling dude   
  
_ [ 11:44am ] _   
**[ Me ]:** see you soon   
  
_ [ 11:45am ] _   
**[ Mell ]:** [okay hand]   
  
  
  
The weekend came and went without any chaos, as had Michael for each day of it.   
  
Sunlight tried to stick its head through his closed curtains, the clock on his bedside table giving a dim blue glow. Jeremy sat staring blankly at his laptop, hands resting still on top of the keys as his desktop stared back at him. He sat like that for five, ten minutes before snapping the computer’s lid shut with a mental sigh.   
  
Everything felt…  _ off. _   
  
Like some part of him went missing with the Squip.   
  
The world seemed muted and blurred, and Jeremy had  _ no fucking idea _ what to do about it. He could manage if someone else was there, if someone was telling him how -  _ helping him _ \- to deal with everything but otherwise he was… blank. Empty. Lost.   
  
It didn’t make sense that he felt this shitty. His life had, on all accounts, improved. He had more people willing to put up with him, people who would actually  _ stop _ assholes from ganging up on him, his dad wore  _ pants _ and was trying to actually improve and help himself. He had Michael back.   
  
So why was he so unhappy?    
  
A vague panic poked at his chest as his phone went off, an alarm telling him to actually get his ass into gear and get ready for the day. He sat at his desk still for another few seconds before pulling himself up to shut it off.    
  
Something like electric build-up travelled through his fingertips and rang in his skull as he swiped his alarm off, the phone clattering to the ground as Jeremy reeled from the shock.   
  
It hadn’t  _ really _ been that big.   
  
He just.   
  
Hadn’t expected it.   
  
He looked down at his fingertips, then rubbed them together as he imagined the lingering sense of static. For something he imagined, the static feeling seemed to twinge as the fingers brushed over each other. That. That was fine.   
  
He had a day to get ready for. No point focusing on… whatever that was.   
  
A shake of his head, and Jeremy pushed himself into the flow of the usual morning rush; shoving on wrinkled clothes, eating a cold piece of toast, nearly forgetting his bag, clambering onto the bus and being jostled around before eventually heading through the school gates like a zombie.   
  
  
  
_ [ 8:49am ] _ __  
**[ Rich ]:** Hey dude im waiting by (bi??) your locker   
**[ Rich ]:** Hurry up i wanna see you before class.   
  
_ [8:49am] _ __  
**[ Me ]:** my locker is literally where you guys all hung out anyway   
**[ Me ]:** because jakes locker was like right there   
  
_ [ 8:49am ] _   
**[Rich]:** Or maybe we all secretly wanted to talk with you?   
  
_ [ 8:49am ] _ __  
**[ Me ]:** ha ha    
**[ Me ]:** good joke rich ill have to remember that one   
  
_ [ 8:50am ] _ __  
**[ Rich ]:** Hurry up b4 i have to kick ur ass   
  
_ [ 8:50am ] _   
**[ Me ]:** i cant see you but im coming up to my locker now   
  
_ [ 8:50am ] _ __  
**[ Rich ]:** Cant tell if that was a dig at my height or not but ok

 

  
  
It was  _ weird _ to see Rich by his locker without Jake. Chloe, Brooke and Jenna were all speaking to him with varying levels of excitement and concern. Rich seemed happy enough. The boy was grinning and one hand on his hip, bare arms showing off new scars. As Jeremy approached he could hear a strain in his voice that, before the boy had talked to him in the bathroom, he hadn’t ever even imagined Rich was even able to produce.   
  
“--and the doctor told me I had to hang around for a couple more dayth -  _ days _ \- because it was pretty bad,” The smile seemed strained, now that Jeremy was closer. Rich’s eyes darted over to him, and the boy seemed to both close off and relax. “But I’m here now  _ so _ all your waiting is over, ladies.”   
  
Chloe gave a half-laugh, peeling Brooke away as Jeremy approached, Jenna trailing after the pair. The girls waved at him (Chloe’s was somewhat sarcastic) before they hurried over to Jake on the other side of the hall.    
  
“You’re so late dude, what the hell? I’m  _ still _ on a schedule. It’s like, implanted.” Rich tapped his temple, Jeremy giving a slight grimace as he did. “Class’ll start any minute. Listen, we  _ have _ to talk, okay? Not just texting, either, Heere. Man to man.” One hand reached out from his chest and up towards Jeremy’s several times to add to Rich’s point.   
  
“Man to man. Great. Awesome.” Jeremy glanced over at the group on the other side of the hall. “I guess you wanna hang out with them at lunch or whatever? We can, like, talk after school if you want?”   
  
Rich bounced on his feet for a moment, glancing over at Jake and the growing masses around him, looking back at Jeremy almost nervously.   
  
“Lunch is fine. I can sit with you and headphones kid, even.”    
  
“It’s  _ Michael _ .” It came out more defensively than Jeremy had intended, Rich raising his palms - well, one palm and the hand holding his phone - in a placating manner. “... Wouldn’t you want to hang out with Jake, though? You guys are like best friends  _ and _ you’ve been in  _ hospital. _ ” Rich was silent. “For  _ ages. _ ” Jeremy added, as though it might add to his point.   
  
“It’s not that I don’t  _ want _ to hang out with Jake, tallass, it’s that he kind of  _ hates _ me right now.” The boy snapped, shoulders rising defensively. “In case you haven’t heard,  _ I burnt his fucking house down. _ ”   
  
Oh.   
  
“... Right. Yeah. Okay, hang with us at lunch. It’s cool.” Rich seemed to settle, giving a slight nod and running a hand through his dyed patch of hair. “Um, does he know that it wasn’t really your fault? If --”   
  
The bell rang, and students were already making their way to class. Rich glanced up and re-adjusted the strap of his side-bag, leaning back before falling onto one foot, already heading backwards for whatever class he had to attend.   
  
“I’ll talk about it at lunch, okay? I’ll see you then.” Jeremy gave a nod, managing to get out a  _ yeah, seeya _ before the guy spun around and set off at a jog. Jeremy sighed, rubbing at the side of his face as though it might wake him up somewhat. It didn’t. Whatever. He has a class to attend and a lunch to mentally prep for. Jeremy let himself get shoved into the flow of students, and headed on his way.   
  


  
“One for me and-” Michael flourished a blue slushie in front of of Jeremy’s nose before placing it down in front of himself. “One for me!”   
  
“Fuck you, give it here,” Jeremy reached over, snatching the drink with a laugh. “You don’t even  _ like _ blue.”   
  
“I’d drink anything to piss you off, dearest Jeremy. Don’t you forget it.”    
  
Jeremy gave a snort at that, picking up a fry and biting off one end before pointing the remaining half at Michael’s face.    
  
“That’s because you’re an asshole, Michael.”   
  
“Speak for yourself.”    
  
“I will! I  _ do! _ ” Jeremy protested, tossing the remainder of the fry in his mouth. Michael gave praise to the hand-mouth coordination, Jeremy beginning to brag about it when their table had a new arrival.   
  
“Do you guys always sit here?” Rich plopped himself on the opposite side of the table, Michael’s face shifting into a cooler, calmer expression nearly instantly.    
  
“We’ve been sitting here since the first year,” The hoodie-clad teen replied, eyes narrowing with suspicion. “So don’t try and take over.”   
  
“Oh, what? No way, it’s so far from everything. I just never noticed you guys before.”   
  
“Jee,  _ thanks _ . A real charmer.” Michael grumbled. Rich frowned across the table at him, brows pulled together tightly in confusion.    
  
“You were nicer in the hospital.”   
  
“Yeah, that’s because we were in a hospital. It’s dickish to be sarcastic to injured individuals. Jeremy, tell him.” Michael swept an arm from Jeremy towards Rich. “Tell him I know when I have to be polite and that this isn’t one of those times. Lunch time is free game.”   
  
“Well, I mean, you’re not  _ wrong, _ ” Jeremy offered, the words stretching out a bit as he tried to figure out what exactly to say. “But like, I kind of invited Rich to sit here? Sooo… you can tone it back, y’know?”   
  
Michael fell silent for a moment, looking between the two other boys with… suspicion? Caution? Jeremy wasn’t quite sure, but whatever it was, it seemed more closed-off than he was used to. Rich glanced between him and Michael, lips pressed together. Jeremy gave him a look that he hoped said  _ just hang on a sec _ before looking back at his friend.   
  
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” And with that, Michael slid his headphones back on over his head, pulled out his phone and started tapping half-heartedly at the screen. Jeremy gave him a nudge, and Michael gave him a brief smile and half-eye-roll before returning to flappy bird.   
  
( _ “It looks retro but it’s super bad and awful! I got it  _ ironically _ , Jeremy Heere.” _ )   
  
“So, uh, what’d you wanna talk about anyway dude?” Jeremy looked over at Rich, laying his arms on the table as he did. One finger tapped against the tabletop as he waited for a reply. “Is this like, a serious thing or…?”   
  
“Well. I mean. How’ve you been! I missed out on seein’ you for a while there, man. What’d been happening with  _ you _ ?” Rich arched a brow, resting his chin on one hand. “Like, sure, things haven’t been working out with the wonderful Christine, but like -- actually, no. Why  _ did _ you guys not work? I thought you were crazy into her, man.”   
  
“It’s like I said, man, it’s just… Squip stuff, y’know?” Jeremy looked back down at his plate, grabbing several fries delicately between his fingers before unceremoniously shoving them into his mouth.    
  
“Yeah, fuck  _ that. _ Fuckin’ can’t be chasing anyone up if you’re getting like, headaches or some shit, right?” Rich snorted, his bench scraping on the ground as he shuffled it closer to the table.   
  
“Headaches? No, it’s more like, just like the -- the getting used to it… not always being there, you know? I didn’t have it as long as you and I’m still lost.” Jeremy gave a long sigh, then took a slurp from his already melting slushie.    
  
“Oh yeah, that. It fucking  _ sucks _ so hard. Look at what I’m  _ wearing! _ ” Rich jumped up, the table rattling, and he flourished his hands up and down his figure. “Does this shit look good? I don’t even fucking know! I mean, it’d make sense for it to, becauthe like my Thquip would pick thith outfit for me before but--”   
  
“Woah, hey! Hey! It’s ch- it’s fine! It’s cool. Don’t worry. You look fine.” Jeremy held his hands up at the boy, speaking quietly at first then calming himself down. Talking calmly helped a lot more, a trick he’d learned from Michael some years back.    
  
Rich froze, then sat down suddenly, face red. “Thanks man.” Jeremy was about to give an  _ it’s totally fine, you can always ask me! _ Speech when Rich’s hand shot over the table and stole a bunch of fries.   
  
“ _ HEY!”  _ Before Jeremy slap the other boy’s hand, Rich slammed the handful into his mouth, laughing through the mouthful of food. “You fucking  _ shit. _ ”    
  
Jeremy rolled his eyes, shoving his tray over to Michael with a sigh. The boy reached down and moved fries from tray to his mouth with coordination that Jeremy envied. He didn’t even take his eyes from his phone. A true talent, that.   
  
“Man’s gotta do whatever it takes to survive in the wild, Heere.” Rich wiped his greasy hand on his shorts, and leaned over the table once more, both elbows on the cold surface. “So sure, maybe Christine didn’t work out. Eyes on anyone else or you just gonna let leftover Squip stuff get in the way of everything?”   
  
“I don’t - I mean.” Jeremy frowned, resting his head on his arms. “I don’t know, man. I’m still getting over the whole,  _ ‘Wow, I find it hard to speak to anyone I haven’t known for twelve years and even then I struggle’  _ thing. Maybe I should deal with that first.”    
  
He keep his eyes focused on the other side of the table, watching Rich carefully. The other boy’s eyes flickered away from Jeremy’s for a moment, then he gave Jeremy a small nod. “Makes sense. But hey!” He gave a wide grin. “Haven’t known me for twelve years, and we’re talkin’ fine! I can help, man. We can be like a team. Support team!”   
  
“You mean like a support group? Pretty sure you need more than two people for that.”   
  
“Pssh, whatever. Listen, you come to my house  _ this weekend _ , alright? And we can like, sort some shit out!” Rich tapped his hands on the table in an excited manner. “It’ll be great! And we can play some Xbox or something as well. My dad’ll be busy all saturday and my bro’s at College so the house’ll be ours!”   
  
“That… actually sounds really great?” Jeremy blinked, looking over at Michael, who was apparently incredibly focused on his current game. His score was in the fifties - best not to mess with that. “We can organize it in math or something. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i didn't even finish the dialogue at the end good work @ me
> 
> ANYWAYS i genuinely enjoyed writing these guys but i had a hard time piecing together how to make the plot progress without going too quickly/slowly AND while giving all them sweet sweet lil hints to stuff i wanted to happen later
> 
> which of course is a thing that i cant just read about and Know, and it's something i have to strive to actually improve on! but i feel that maybe i would work better with a plot that has less,,, not 'filler' but like! space for me to fill before i get to the parts i've thought about the most  
> i guess that is filler, when you think about it  
> but yeah! just a learning experience here i guess?


	4. [ Cut/Edited Scenes ]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah! i saved these for a bonus if i ever finished this but i didnt so just,,, take them. take them, please. just imagine me shoving a cluster of words and sentences at you.
> 
> take them.

*     *     *     *     *   
  
3 - [ Off ]

  
*     *     *     *     *   


>> **_REWRITTEN, was STARTER paragraph before i realized that having Jerm go back in time after this would be irritating and hard to do correctly without messing up my own timeline in just one chapter lmao._ **   
  
  
The weekend had come and gone, as had Michael for each day of it.   
  
It had been nice, having someone around all the time. While the ‘no staying for the night’ rule had been surprisingly upheld, his friend had stayed for so late each time that it barely had any effect.   
  
Now Jeremy sat staring blankly at his laptop, hands resting still on top of the keys as his desktop stared back at him. He sat like that for five, ten minutes before snapping the computer’s lid shut with a mental sigh.   
  
Everything felt…  _ off. _

 

Like he was missing a part of himself.    
  
The world seemed muted and blurred, and Jeremy had  _ no fucking idea _ what to do about it. He could manage if someone else was there, if someone was telling him how -  _ helping him _ \- to deal with everything but otherwise he was… blank. Empty. Lost.

  
He had thought everything would just go back to the way it had been before. That he’d wake up in the morning, go to class, joke around, pine after Christine, play dumb video games and laugh and joke with Michael and go to bed maybe not overjoyed but  _ content _ . That things would be the same as they’d always been, or that they might even be better.   
  
His life had, on all accounts, improved. He wasn’t bullied in the hallways (so far), he had more people who were not only willing to talk but wanted to actually be his friend. His dad was making an effort to help himself. He had his best friend back.   
  
So why was he so unhappy?

  
\--   
  
**_> > REWRITTEN, i dont think the (brackets) would have benefitted the story tbh and also it makes the squip just,,, closer to irredeemable than he already is which is fine b/c evil squip is fun but im a sucker for little memories/momments where hes not always trash_ **   
  
A shake of his head, and Jeremy pushed himself into the flow of the usual morning rush; shoving on wrinkled clothes (that would be a shock), eating a cold piece of toast (another shock, or at least some scolding), nearly forgetting his bag (a yell), clambering onto the bus and being jostled around (that was unavoidable, really) and heading through the schoolgates like a zombie.   
  
**_> > fuk u americans and calling chips ‘fries’ wth you guys_ ** ****_  
_   
Jeremy gave a snort at that, picking up a chip and biting off one end before pointing the remaining half at Michael’s face.    
  
**_> > Rewritten and replaced. i could NOT end this chapter for the life of me. I got a friend to help me with editing this section and i got rid of most of it anyway hnnn_ ** ****_  
_ ****_  
_ “Man’s gotta do whatever it takes to survive in the wild, Heere.” Rich wiped his greasy hand on his shorts, and leaned over the table once more, both elbows on the cold surface. ****_  
_ ****_  
_ “Yeah, whatever you fry-burglar.” Jeremy gave a half laugh. “So, like, you’re having headaches or whatever? Maybe that’s like, a side effect from the smoke inhalation or something?” He offered, resuming his finger-tapping.    
  
Rich shook his head. “Nah, man, it’s like… I just. I can  _ tell _ , you know?” Rich’s eyes were widened slightly, as if he were begging Jeremy to believe him, before the boy bit his lip, looking away. “Or maybe it’s nothing. I don’t know.”   
  
“I mean, when yours -- if yours shocked you then maybe it’s like... left over from that. Nothing to worry about, you know?” Now that he said it out loud, it really did sound like something to worry about.  _ Oh hey, you might have lingering brain damage but no biggie bro! _   
  
“Yeah, nah, it’s nothing, don’t even worry.” Rich looked back and cracked a grin. “Maybe it was just be going insane from being locked up in that hospital room for fucking ages, right?”   
  
“Yeah, I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. They’re shut down for good, anyway. Not like they can fuck anything else up, right?” Jeremy could tell his voice sounded strained, but that was definitely because he wanted another sip from his slushie. Not because he was thinking back on those imagined Squip-whisperings, no no, that was stupid.    
  
Jeremy looked away from Rich, lost in his own thoughts, when he caught the eyes of two slowly passing students. Their hushed conversation came to a halt when they realized he’d caught them. As they brushed past, Jeremy heard a half-whispered,  _ 'absolute pyro.’ _ Before he could even fully process what they meant, Michael spun around in his seat and faced towards them. "Can you just fuck off?" He growled, causing the pair to stop like a deer caught in headlights before scurrying off in a hurry.   
  
Jeremy stared after the retreating gossipers, hand balling into a fist. It was shitty enough when he’d been whispered about for being a loser. Being whispered about because of burning down your best friends house… Jesus Christ, he’d hate it.  There was a long silence at the table before Rich cleared his throat, and gave Michael a halting thanks.   
  
“Yeah, whatever. I hate it when people walk by our table. It’s fucking annoying.” He slid his headphones down to his neck, and reached down for another fry. The silence returned before he gave a sigh. “Jeremy, what class’ve you got next?”    
  
“I- uhh, hang on,” Jeremy fumbled to grab his phone from his pocket.    
  
“We’ve got math, man.” Rich informed him with a grin. “Fuckin’ Mr Gretch makes me wanna die everytime he writes a letter on the board. What the hell does  _ ‘k’ _ even mean, right?”   
  
“I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s like, an actual math thing, Rich.”   
  
“Yeah, right. Listen, I gotta talk to you for a while. Like, if you ended up missing some of math, then Rich can take notes for you. Right, Rich?” Michael’s head snapped back over to the far shorter teen, and he fixed him with a hard look.    
  
“Yeah, sure, as long as he pays me back. Get me a slushie! Or like, some fries or whatever.”   
  
“ _ I _ got Jeremy the slushie. Letting you sit here is payment enough. This is our table.”    
  
“It’s fine, Michael. Thanks, Rich. I’ll buy you like, a taco or something?” Jeremy gave a thumbs-up across the table, pushing himself up from the table.    
  
“Are you guys leaving, like,  _ now?  _ Lunch isn’t even near over.” Rich protested, getting up at the same time with a pout. “Where do you losers even hang out?” A pause. “No offense.”    
  
Michael gave Rich a scathing look, but Jeremy cut off whatever his friend was about to say.   
  
“The computer lab, normally, but like, also around the back of the school? Not the cool places where Brooke and stuff hang but like, still behind the school.”   
  
“Oh. Cool. Cool. So, uh, you guys just gonna take off on me? Nice. Get the table  _ all _ to myself.” Rich gave a wide grin, and wriggled his eyebrows in Michael’s direction. “Maybe I’ll even decide which seat I want and come steal it super early next time.”   
  
“Whatever.”   
  
[ Getting rid of this part took off nearly 700 words oof ]   



	5. Ask the Pitiful Children

so i may or may not have laid claim to the tumblr url askthepitifulchildren a few months ago **[ edit: I HAVE SINCE GIVEN IT UP ]**  
  
i havent known what to do with it - an au? canon divergence? post-canon? if it's post canon, then would i relate it to this story? would i keep the characters sperate? what about the story?

 

in the end i just let it sit in my blogs, gathering dust. 

eventually, this fic sat in my drive, gathering dust as well.

 

I've decided to use the semiplot i had for THIS fic for that askblog instead. **[ EDIT:** im **a fucking liar and** im **not doing that anymore agdah ]** I feel it would sit better there, as i'd otherwise require more "filler" than im capable of at this time. not that i couldnt write filler but i couldn't write it,,,, a lot, or it would grow very boring for you guys. I felt i would rehash things too much, make it too dramatic and then too bland. yadda yadda.  
  
thanks so much to the people who read this! i hope it wasn't a huge trashpile for the few chapters it breathed lmao <3  
  
  
  



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